


My Childhood friend, My First love, My Partner, My Alpha; Mine

by texting_fangirl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Eren, Alpha Levi, Alpha Mikasa, Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Beta/Omega Annie, Beta/Omega fluidity, Childhood Friend, F/F, First Kiss, First Love, Knotting, Marking, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Erwin, Omegaverse, Romance, Scent Marking, Timeskips, Unconventional Relationship, a/b/o dynamics, beta reader, bondmates, first partner, fluid Annie, fluid genders, happy end, knots, omega armin, unconventional pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11379774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texting_fangirl/pseuds/texting_fangirl
Summary: Levi is not like the others, but that's okay, because so are you.Expected to present as an alpha, you grow up with the boy that is expected to present as an omega, but life is not fair and problems arise oh so very easily.But you're both not what your parents thought you to be, and the tension between the two of you is easily ignored in favour of an relationship that has an end tied to a clock that is ticking down.Because alphas don't waste their times with betas after they meet their omega bondmates.It's an unspoken rule as old as the first tales.





	1. Chapter 1

You're five and he's seven and your parents are friends and so are you.

He doesn't play like the other children, keeps to himself and is quiet, almost pulling a frown all the time but you break his ice after you bounce over to him and smile.  
He doesn't play with all the other children below your age that are on the barbeque party, and he doesn't play with anyone older than him.  
He plays fetch with you, and hide and seek, and he even teaches you one of those awesome hand-clap games.  
Because you're different from the others.

You're very grown up for your age, say the adults. You'll make a good alpha, they say, and you don't really know what that means but alphas are big and strong and people respect them and you want to become a great alpha so you nod along.  
The garden of your parent’s friend’s is large and wild, the fireplace burns bright and the hours fly by.  
You're lost among the bushes and your parents don't call out to you for a long time.  
Eventually the black-haired shorty half-drags, half carries you out into the open again after you fall asleep in the grass; both of your hair a mess, leaves, small branches and dried grass tangled into the strands.  
Everyone compliments him for it, praises him, until your parents leave with you and he looks after your parent’s car and the voices turn down in his ears.  
He doesn't play that night again, and when the next party happens and your parents arrive without you, because you're at your grandma's, he doesn't look disappointed. He just casts his eyes down and sits with the grown-ups at their table, and every attempt to animate him to go up to the other pups falls on deaf ears.

 

You're in elementary and he walks you to school every day because yours is on his way and your parents moved two streets down from where he lives.  
He's smaller than the boys in your class, but nobody dares to bully you after they see you with him and you couldn't be happier.  
You take his hand and hold it while you walk, and nobody says anything, not even him, even though he's in the phase where boys don't like girls.  
He doesn't seem to care.  
He’s different.  
You meet up every Friday evening to play together; the grow-ups say he's going to be a nice, quiet omega, perfect for you, the nice, friendly alpha.  
But you don’t care about that.

 

He is 14, and doesn't present as omega even though his mother is one and his father is a beta. He presents as alpha, to everyone's surprise, and you hear the people in your neighbourhood talking how he has to be the quietest alpha they ever met.  
His small frame is no longer unhealthy thin, he gains weight, gains muscles, but stays short, but nobody makes fun of him.  
Every presented omega in your class that scents him on your clothes swoons at the smell, would love to tear the fabric off of you to keep it forever, but they restrain.  
Your contact with him turns friendly but reserved, both of you afraid of what you will present as. Omega father and alpha mother are the preset for an omega, or maybe if you're really lucky, an alpha.  
Both options would destroy your friendship, you're sure of that; You recoil from the thought of being lost in the haze of heat and turn him into a mindless monster that only wants to possess and have sex, and you shy away from the thought of one day rivalling him and fighting until one of you leaves.  
But nothing happens.

 

He listens, his head in your lap, hands folded on his belly, grey eyes closed, when you're 15, listens to you rambling about the newly presented alphas in your class and how the omegas are all getting presents to their first heats and how the batting of lashes is getting very annoying.  
He listens, and he hears the strain in your voice when you talk.  
You still didn't present as alpha or omega, and even though that's a relief it's also a saddening truth.  
It reliefs the both of you you're not alpha, and it saddens, to a degree, both of you you're not omega.  
But neither of you is bringing it up during a talk; you're tiptoeing around each other.

 

When you're 17 your mom drags you to a Doctor, who only confirms what you knew deep down since the day Levi presented and his scent didn't trigger a reaction in you.  
You're a beta, rare in the combination of your parents matching, and when you get home and text Levi, who moved into his own flat already, you don't wait for a reply.  
He comes by unannounced in the evening, ice cream in his hands and the sweater he knows you like so much over his arm.

Your first kiss tastes like vanilla and pistachio ice cream, it's short and sweet and through the melancholia that is knowing you're beta it makes your heart flutter and race, your knees weak and lets you smile for hours afterward.

You don't know when you transitioned from friends to more. Maybe it was on that evening, maybe it was when he picked you up from school on your last day, with his black, used car, where the seats smell like his favourite detergent and the mirror above the passenger side is missing.  
You drive out of the city, to a lake nearby, and just lie in the warm grass there, hands almost holding, pinkies slung around each other, and it's enough.

 

You move in with him when you turn 20.  
Every day that you wake up earlier than him you walk across the hall and peek through his open door, how he sleeps curled up into his sheets, his black hair a mess, and the love you feel for him twists and pinches your insides until you pry your eyes away or sneak in with him; and when he wraps his arms around you it feels too good not to love him.

 

You turn 22, and deep down you know every day with Levi could be your last.  
Levi is an alpha. You're a beta.  
If Levi stumbled across his bondmate tomorrow, it'd all be over, you know.  
There hasn't been anyone who refused a bondmate, and you're clever enough to know no alpha ever would in favour of someone like you.  
But you go about your day as if nothing is wrong, and when Levi knots with you it never hurts like all the stories told in elementary school promised, it feels good, it fulfils you, makes you whole.  
Levi's human teeth leave love bites all over your shoulder and neck, and so do yours on his, stinging so sweetly for a couple of days afterwards, gentle reminders of your shared love.  
You don't talk about mating bites.  
He whispers soft words into your ears when he keeps you close after every coupling, keeps you safe in his arms, allows himself a moment of protection even though he knows you're able to defend yourself, aren't like omegas lost in their own nature. The moments spend in this closeness are treasured in your heart, when he’s still locked inside you, still tied to you.

 

You're 23 when he casually brings it up, during a new episode of Iron Fist over takeaway Chinese.  
"Any plans for our future?"

He doesn't look at you and talks at the TV, focused on eating and the action-scene playing, anything, but you.  
After a quick look over you mimic his behaviour, strategically not looking at him.  
"Not really. I mean, eventually you'll get an omega and won't need me anymore but-"  
He suddenly freezes and turns to look at you. The show is forgotten, the food in his hands no longer relevant.  
"What?"

You look over and are mildly surprised to see his face in something that could be considered shock. To everyone who doesn't know Levi he might look deeply infuriated, but you know his expressions.  
You swallow another fork of noodles and continue to eat, shrugging.  
"Everyone knows that, right. Alphas get bondmates. Omegas. It's always like that. It's supposed to be like that, isn't it? I'm a beta. I don't fit in."  
He doesn't drop the carton with leftover noodles, but his fingers go slack around it.  
"You think I'm only using you as a fucktoy until my bondmate comes bouncing along like a fucking treat?"  
You sigh, uncomfortable by his choice of words.  
"No, Levi, that's not..."  
"It's not? It's not? Then what, ______? Do you think I'm one of those dickhead traditionalists that only screw betas for fun?"  
His voice gets louder and you drop your eyes.  
The food lost its taste.

Levi looks like he wants to say more, presses his lips together, but after inhaling sharply he looks straight ahead, eyebrows knit and mouth set in a hard line. He gets up and leaves his food on the table, stalks over to his room and forcefully closes the door.  
The episode is still running and you turn it off after blankly staring at the screen for half a minute more.  
Knowing it would only upset him further if you left it, you clean away the food and drinks from the table and put them away in the kitchen.  
Something stops you as you pass his door, and for a moment you consider going in.  
Then you're able to continue and without thinking vanish in your own room.

You're already in bed and hidden under the covers when you hear his door open later again, hear him stumble over into the bathroom and hear the water turning on.  
When he's done you close your eyes and hope to fall asleep soon, for the next morning to be alright, sooth what you fucked up this evening.

Your breathing is even and low, but you're not asleep yet when your door opens quietly.  
You can only hear it, for your back is turned towards it, but no rush of emotions comes.  
You can hear his soft footsteps coming over to your bed, hear him sit down. The mattress dips where he rests his arms and head.  
You wait, if he'll talk, but he doesn't, he just sits there, silent, only now and then breathing in and out.  
You contemplate rolling over and kissing his face just before he gets up again, his breathing evened out.  
He quietly closes the door behind himself and tears begin to fall from your eyes and into the pillow.

The next morning you boil water for him, to make tea, and are still leaning against the counter when he emerges from the pit stop at the bathroom.  
Eyes averted you gently push a mug with a teabag in it over to him, view glued on the newspaper in your hands until he carefully takes it away.  
His hands, slightly rough from cleaning, tilt up your chin from where it almost touches your chest, but you refuse to look at him until he sighs.  
"Look at me."  
It's without the usual sharpness, with an inaudible 'please' at the end, and you allow your eyes to rise.  
"I'm... sorry for yesterday."  
After a moment you blink and drop his gaze again, nodding.  
"S' alright. Don't worry."  
He leans back, gives you your space and watches how you fold the newspaper and place it aside before leaving for the bathroom, and his hands are flexing but he doesn't know what he should do.

The weeks following are growing lonely. You distance yourself from him, unconsciously at first, but at some point you’re aware of it, you know, and yet you don't do something against it.  
You leave for work early, stay longer than needed and after dropping your bag off at your flat you go grocery shopping without him, only leaving a note saying you're out.  
When he's home you keep to your room, busying with personal projects or stuff from work to avoid him, and conversation between the two of you grows sparse and almost exclusively through texts.  
Then there's a new offer for a different job, well paid and in shifts, and you see each other even less.  
You dodge the subject with your friends, and they don't ask about it further.  
Levi becomes more of a flatmate than a boyfriend, or even friend, and he doesn't approach you anymore.  
The last time he set foot into your room, the last time you slept with each other, is months ago.


	2. Chapter 2

And then his heat comes around and he's restless.  
You can hear him long in the evening, walking around the flat, and now even your insensitive nose can clearly scent him in the air, the delicious fragrance that's so purely Levi it makes your heart ache.  
He's everywhere around you but your room, and it becomes a safe spot for you to retreat to when the scent grows too much in the living room.

 

It's Friday, and you're coming from a late shift at the factory on the outskirts of town. You smell like machine oil and there's grime over your clothes, and you don't bother to move into your room before occupying the bathroom and taking a hot shower.  
Hair is still wet when you exit it again and enter the living room to reach yours.  
After flicking on the light you get a small heart attack.

Levi is lying on the couch, wearing only black boxershorts that can't help in hiding his erection; a thin, glistening layer of sweat on his chest.  
His eyes are half-closed, his dark hair is messy and his gaze is hungry and full of longing when it falls on you, and his chest is heaving in flat breaths.  
You can't move from your spot by the door, towel wrapped around your middle and water drizzling on the carpet.  
He pushes his boner down with one hand and turns away as if in shame, a small whine of pain and wanting escaping him, only to roll his head back in your direction as your feet take small steps towards him. His eyes narrow and he whines again, soft and low, calling out to you, and you hear yourself answering, slightly higher than him, and then he reaches out with his feverish hands, holds your hips and bites his lip when looking up to you, as if to ask permission.

Your hands come up and stroke his cheeks, he rests his head in your palms and pushes his nose to where your scent gland at your wrist is, kissing it, tugging you closer, hands sneaking under your towel.  
Then his grip tightens, he pulls you down into his lap and the feeling of him, hard, pressed against you makes you squirm and grow hot and uncomfortable in the good way until he reaches up and pulls your face to his.  
When his lips meet yours the world is in order again, everything between the two of you that happened in the last weeks forgotten, and he manages to stumble to bed while not letting go of your body with his lips and hands, before his instincts win and he growls, taking what he wants, needs, after making sure you're okay with it.

His thrusts are smooth, powerful and fast, he's panting by now as well as you are, and you can feel his knot against your entrance.  
Briefly you wonder if it will fit, now, that Levi's in heat, but then he bucks forward and two voices cry out in lust, pain, love and ecstasy, and you feel, know, if there ever was the moment to place mating bites, it's now.  
Levi seems to think the same; he hovers above you propped up on his elbows, his hips still softly twitching forward as he comes inside the condom, as he brushes invisible hairs from your neck and leans in, rests his forehead against your pulse.  
Anticipation and fear roll through you as you automatically tilt your head away, offer your neck to him, the soft skin surrounding your small scent glands that he'd only have to bite down on with his canine teeth, just once, draw blood, lap it up and then you'd be his, and then you’d mark him and he would be yours for the whole world to see.  
Doubts begin to set in as the height of orgasm subsides, and Levi drops his head fully in the crook of your neck and waits until his breathing isn't shallow and erratic anymore.  
"I love you." You whisper after he rolls both of you on your sides, and he stares at you with dilated eyes and parted lips before his arms squeeze you so tight you can't breathe for a moment and his lips press to your forehead, to your hairline, and linger there.  
And even though he doesn't say it, can't find the words for it, you know he loves you, too.  
The weekend is the best in a long while.  
Levi is keen on body contact, sneaks up behind you and hugs you, rests his head in your lap on the couch, has his hand on your thigh, your lower back, you butt, everywhere, crawls into bed after you in the evening and spoons you to sleep.  
The world is okay, every scratch has healed, is covered in fresh skin and is tinted soft pink.

 

You turn 25 and the world starts to fall apart.

Not with a loud 'bang', not with cracking and shattering of glass, but with distance and creeping loneliness.  
This time it's Levi who tiptoes away.  
They have a bunch of newbies at work, he says one Monday, over dinner, and they're quite a handful and how he thinks he has to take more time for work to fully integrate them.  
You try your best not to let your smile falter, you're happy for him, but he knows you too well and strokes your hand as comfort.  
He doesn't touch your cheek, like he usually does, and you don't think anything of it.

He stays away longer and longer, and every time he comes home he carries the faint scent of omega with him. Even your dull senses pick it up, it's in his hair when he sleeps next to you and you bury your face in it, it's in the clothes he leaves in the bathroom to wash, it's on his skin.  
You do your best to spread your own scent on him, pet his hair, kiss his neck, rub your wrists together, but you know it's of little use.  
Against an omega's scent, yours is powerless.  
But he apologizes, he makes up for the lost time on the weekends, and the plus hours pay off in generous pay checks.  
He starts to shower at work and puts his clothes into the wash bin directly after coming home to minimize the scent they give off.  
At the end on another month he announces they'll get two more interns the next week, but by now you don't worry that much anymore.

His heat comes again, precise as clockwork, and he stays home the first days of the week, spending time in bed with you again after weeks of touches growing sparse and seldom. It feels good, somehow, to have him with you, his pale skin against yours, his fingertips on sensitive spots and his lips on yours.  
On the day he goes to work again he comes home covered in omega scent, so strong and rich that your nose flares in recognition, and you give him a look under which he crumbles.  
"One of the newbies. Needed a lot of help."   
You turn away before he can see the pain etching across your features.

It's the beginning of the end.

Days later he doesn't come home one evening.

He doesn't reply to your texts or calls, doesn't even receive them, and your heart is bleeding.  
Eren comes over when you call him, fingers too shaky to text, and his words are soothing cool on your raw soul, his hands strong to hold on to when you take them, giving comfort when you cry out.  
He tries to reason, tries to tell you Levi could just be stuck somewhere without signal, could have lost his phone, but your inner wolf knows he's with the omega you smelled last week.  
It happened, what you had dreaded most happened, you tell Eren, again and again through never ending tears and he knows you're right, doesn't say anything against it, can’t, and even though it means you're right it doesn't make it better.  
The same night you pack your bag with clothes, collect everything that is yours, place Levi's clothes back in his drawer, in his room, before retreating to the living room.  
Eren only gives you a sad look as he takes your sports bag and shoulders it.  
"There's still the possibility it's something... else..."  
You shake your head and bite down on your lip to not let tears flow that stopped just minutes ago.  
"I'll come to you. After he comes home. If that is okay?" Fear winds into your voice, even though Eren is the one who invited you to stay with him, Armin, Mikasa and Annie in their house. They're all unmated, and don't bring hook-ups there. The spare bedroom isn't occupied yet.  
Now Eren nods, rests his hand on your shoulder, before turning around.  
"Text me if you need one of us to pick you up, okay?"  
You sigh and shake your head yes.  
He leaves, the door clicks shut, and you're left alone.

Friday turns to Saturday, you sleep on the couch, only move when you need to, and the flat's heavy silence presses on your ears.  
There’s only emptiness inside you, and you forget to eat.

Sunday afternoon you hear keys clink in front of the door, a quiet voice cursing.  
You rise, smooth down some wrinkles in your clothes and try to mentally prepare yourself to face him.

You hear him enter the flat, stop by the kitchen and peek into the bathroom. He calls out once before spotting you in the living room.  
The lazy smile on his face drops as soon as he sees your thick, still glossy eyes, sees the tissue bunched in your fist.

"I should've called." He states, almost whispers, shame filling his voice.  
"I tried to, actually." You lift your phone before dropping the arm again, and his hand flinches to the back pocket of his jeans.  
When he takes it out a fresh wave of scent assaults your nose. Instinctively you take a step back.  
Omega.  
Heat, mixed...  
Levi smells like two, his pure fragrance tinted with something else, overlapped, tainted.  
Your eyebrows pull closer together and you press your lips together.  
Before he unlocks his phone he drops it back into his pocket again. He throws a quick look at the hallway, which you can't look into from your point.  
"______... This is..."  
Before he can say a name, his omega walks into the room.

It's nothing like a hit in the stomach, your knees don't buckle and give way, nothing slows down.  
You take one look at him and know you don't stand the slimmest of chances.  
He's gorgeous.  
He's tall, he's blond, he's handsome, he has gleaming blue eyes that sparkle with adoration as he looks at Levi.  
Broad shoulders and slim hips, so untypically for an omega, are hidden under a clean shirt and new jeans.  
He looks well-groomed, has to be wealthy, doesn't have to fear for his next month's rent.  
Probably a stable job, too.  
You admit defeat before he even looks at you for the first time, before he extends his hand towards you, a shy smile on his face and looking back in insecurity about the situation.  
But he doesn't drop your gaze, doesn't falter in his movements or shrinks away when you simply stare, and that's probably why Levi's wolf chose him.  
You look at the gigantic palm he is offering you, and his eyebrows drop the smallest bit.  
Before he can pull back again you finally take it, shaking it once before letting go.

"You must be ______, Levi's partner. I'm so pleased to meet you! My name is Erwin." His smile broadens, and for a minute you can't decide if it's just rude how he introduced himself or if you really hate him completely.  
You manage a nod in acknowledging him before your eyes flicker between the two of them.  
"Well," You swallow, and Levi softly shakes his head no, sensing your next move. "Seeing how you are mated now, and even my dull nose can pick that up, I will be taking my leave. I hope you're good to Levi." You address Erwin with your last sentence and give him a look that's meant to be threatening but probably looks just sad and pathetic.  
"______, where-" Levi starts, breaking off as you pick up the small bag with the rest of your belongings, his face falling as his eyes hurry over to the door left ajar to your room.  
"I'll leave you two alone now."  
Your voice wavers at the end, and the 'Goodbye' gets stuck in your throat.  
One heartbeat you still linger, it seems endless, but then you clear your throat, move forward, brush past the pair and head for the door.  
You miss the look of hurt and confusion Erwin gives Levi.

It takes an eternity but Levi follows you, catches up before you can close the door.  
Unwillingly, you look into his face.  
"Where are you going?" There is concern in his voice, and anger bubbles up in you.  
"Don't worry, I'm staying with friends until I find something on my own."  
"No, you don't have to, why are you-"  
"Levi. I can see how he looks at you. I see how relaxed you are around him. I can smell you two on each other, more than I ever did me on you. It's over, Levi. You know that. Please don't... Don’t make it worse."  
You knew this day would come, you knew, you think, and the truth about that knowledge lets you swallow thickly.

"We're not bonded." He says, and in it you can hear his frustration about the situation, about you, about the omega that already has driven away your scent out of the flat, about nature.  
Half a smile steals on your face as you take a step back.  
"Maybe not yet. Your next heat will come. You made your choice years ago."  
He didn't bite you. He waited.  
Levi grips the side of the door, and his knuckles turn pearl white as you slowly take steps back.  
"I was afraid." He whispers, eyes on the floor and emitting a sorrowful scent. You blame it on his heightened pheromone-production that you're able to smell it, or maybe it's the rival who walked in and claimed your alpha, but it doesn't evoke feelings in you. Not yet.  
"I know. You don't have to be anymore." The words taste bitter on your tongue. "You chose the right one."  
And without waiting for those grey eyes to lift and meet yours again you turn away, down the stairs, out the front door, and a gentle breeze blows fresh air into your face.

You contemplate calling Eren to pick you up, but you're not in the mood for talking and certainly not for someone else than the brunet to drive, but with a shared house and a shared car you never know for sure who's going to turn up.  
The train is almost empty when you sit down in it, very few people sprinkled over the seats.  
It's Sunday, and only those without a family, without a pack, and those who work ride the trains at this time of the day.  
The noise of the miles of steel fleeting below your seat is calming.

The house is still beautiful, still big and still wrapped in a colourful garden, although the latter is growing a bit wild, it seems.  
After a minute the front door gets opened and Annie looks into your face, her hair up in her trademark style and her stoic face softening upon seeing you.  
Wordlessly she reaches out and hugs her arms around you, and if you hadn't been so sleep deprived and in a lousy state of mind it would have greatly surprised you.  
The hug lasts, is one of those supportive hugs you never want to let go of, but you pull back after your nose threatens to run and your eyes gloss over.

"They're out, getting food." She quietly says while you pull off your shoes and put them next to the suspiciously empty cupboard that usually holds an unholy amount of various types of footwear.  
She follows you into the spare room where your sports bag is sitting next to the bed, and lounges on the comforter while you unpack.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, playing with a piece of skin at her nail.

After a quick look you exhale and shake your head.  
Annie nods and continues to pick on her fingers.  
Her scent is, as far as you can tell, beta today. You're glad; the scent of an omega now, so shortly after Levi and Erwin...  
Beta-Omegas are rare. Annie shifts every few weeks, as far as you know, but in extreme cases a person can experience both statuses on one day multiple times.  
It's not known what causes the shift in hormones, nor is it much researched, but fluid people are accepted and respected in most parts of the world.  
In some old tales the fluid people are even considered gods.  
She stays with you until you're unpacked, strokes your back when you collapse at her feet in front of the bed and press your face into her leg, waits patiently until you can move again and helps you down the stairs to the large couch in the living room opposites the wall mounted TV.


	3. Chapter 3

When Eren returns with his stepsister and their friend they bring the smell of pizza with them, and you look away from the screen on which Annie is playing a new Zelda game.  
The following minutes are filled with gentle touches, hugs, pats and strokes, kind words and comfort.  
Your stomach growls and they laugh and hand you Pizza, Eren's eyes glowing appreciatively when you bite into a slice and the gloomy mood lifts slightly.

 

The days pass by faster than you can count, after one week it's already been a month since you left Levi's flat, then three.  
Squeezed on the couch between the others you can laugh, can share their happiness, feel alive again.

It's the grey hours before dawn when the loneliness creeps up to you, when the world is silent and calm.  
Sometimes you can't breathe, and lie on your back suffocating, until someone hears your wolf's cry, stumbles through the door of your room and touches his or her hands to your forehead, your neck, your shoulders, and the curse is lifted.  
Oftentimes you smell the spices of Eren's scent, sometimes it's Annie's clear fragrance. Mikasa stays away from your room but she is friendly enough during the day, and Armin doesn't hear when you call out.  
Their arms are reassuring, keep you safe, and when they sneak under the blanket with you and their scent envelopes you it drives away Levi's scent still stuck to your skin, to your nose, replaces it and fills you with bliss and relief.

Your time in the factory is long past, and due to some connections Annie still has to her old colleagues after she quit you’re able to start over as a graphic designer. You share a double-desk with a buzzing Beta-alpha called Sasha who regularly strikes good deals with various food-companies and keeps everyone in the office well-supplied with free samples of the food she’s advertising with her design-skills, and she takes a friendly liking in you from day one on.  
The Boss, Mike, is rough on the edges and has a fine nose for bullshit but he’s alright.  
He’s unmated, an alpha but a quiet one, and on the nation-wide day of diversity-celebration you see him sporting a loose tie in the Ace-pride flag’s colours.

The new and different work is helping a lot.  
Your mind is challenged, there is time to spare between projects and events that are used to build a sense of pack in the office between everyone, and after a few Friday nights out spend with them you warm up to the rest.

Weeks pass while you’re immersed in taking additional design classes and working hard to grow accustomed to the programs, and at first you don’t notice the wind growing chilly, then cold.

The office is in a new part of the city, neighbouring the docks and the harbour, and although Levi’s working space is somewhere else entirely it’s inevitable you run into him at some point.

It’s a brief encounter, and you’re sure he didn’t notice you, but you’re glad you only saw him out of the window of a bus, are sitting down already, and it’s ridiculous how heavy your body is all of a sudden, how immoveable it feels.  
When you return home they lift their heads and sniff out your mood as you pass dinner in the living room and head for bed straight away.

A day later you’re better already.

 

It's an afternoon, you're caught up in a heated game of Mario Kart with Armin and Mikasa, almost winning. Annie sits on the side eating chips and making sarcastic comments, and Eren is in the kitchen, cleaning it, when the doorbell goes off.  
Armin's head snaps over and his nostrils tremble. He's close to heat, weak already on his feet, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket on the couch, and his mouth turns into an unhappy frown.  
Your eyebrows draw closer together as you look over to where Eren spies through the window before answering the door.  
Annie pauses the game and all of you try to hear who it is, but the only voice barely audible is Eren's, and while it's not unfriendly he could be nicer in his tone.  
Then he turns around and you can see who's outside, illuminated in the sun and looking far too angelic to be real.  
"That's him?" Mikasa asks, wrinkling her nose.

Mechanically you get up as Eren calls out, asks if you have a minute, and places a hand on your shoulder as you pass him.  
You meet his worried eyes and the silent question if you can do this, and you tell him yes, assure him you're able to pull through and he leaves you at the open door, heads back into the kitchen but leaves the glass door leading there open.  
After another breath you turn to face Erwin, and you can't find it in you to be angry at him.  
Not when he looks like that, basked in omega glory, with his good clothes and shining hair and Levi's scent all over him like an elegant cape.  
Crossing your arms, you look at him.  
"What do you want here?"

He seems nervous, fidgets with his hands and looks around. As he tilts his head and the skin exposes under his collar you can't make out teeth marks.  
"I came to ask your blessing." He finally confesses, and it visibly calms him down to have said it.  
You stare at him, unsure of what he's actually trying to say.  
"What?"  
And he gets nervous again, rubs his neck and shifts his weight.  
"I'm going to ask Levi to mark me. I'd like your okay for that."  
You flinch away from his words and boiling cold spreads through your body.

"I don't care if he gives you the bite or not.” Your words surprise you, but now they left your lips, impossible to contain again, and there is more bubbling out. “You took away the person I wanted to be with, your sheer existence made it impossible for us to continue to stay together, you do realize that, don't you? You just walked in like that, laid eyes on Levi and then went 'Yeah, he's the one.'. You destroyed everything I had with him, and you know what? I can't even blame you."  
Erwin shrinks away under your words and only breathes again after your last sentence exits your lips.  
"I can't even blame you. Because of your nature. Because of your freaking nature. Because you 'can't do anything about it', apparently. You ask for my blessing, but it's nothing I could do or not do about it, nothing in my reach, so don't pretend I'm still a part of his life, not now that he has you. Don't."  
You breathe, heavy, trying to calm down.  
"I feared that this day would come. He knew I feared that. And then he knotted me and held me close and tol-"

Erwin dares to let his lips curl at the mentioning of his mate's knot, in someone else, and maybe it’s just his unconsciousness reacting or maybe it’s not, but you lose it.

"Get out of here you fucking piece of omega shit! Run back to your fucking alpha and let him keep you safe, let him bite you in your ass and never come back! Don't you dare come back here and snarl at me when I talk about what used to be my alpha, my childhood friend, my first love, my alpha, my partner, mine! Get out of here while you still can, I don't fucking care about you or him, go and live your happy life together, because that's what you came here for isn’t it, and what is your destiny! Let him fuck you, let him knot you again and again until you're carrying his pups, again and again until you can fill a house with your litter! Go! Go!!"  
You know if it ever came to a real fight you would still lose against the massive omega, but here, in the home of your friends, the den of your pack, you're powerful, far more powerful than he who came here with his tail between his legs to cower and beg from you, to rub salt deep into the wound that has barely begun to heal yet, make it all too obvious what he took away from you.  
He backs off, but there is resistance building inside him, and you know he won't let it rest if he gets the chance to fight back.  
You move forward and shove him back, staring into his eyes with a baring of teeth that is so far off a smile as a middle finger from a high-five.  
He growls now, he towers over you, ready to fight, but the hate inside you against nature, fate, the spirits, anything you can blame for this misfortune, is greater, burns brighter than rational thinking and you're ready to strike out again when arms grab hold of you, pull you back, towards the house that you don't remember leaving, and Annie steps between you and the blond omega bitch, calm and collected.

"Leave, now." She says, and her voice is full of authority and power. "You are not welcome here."  
And that is all it takes before Erwin's chest puffs out, and he is fleeing the scene, walking fast, almost running away.  
You fight against Eren's grip, want to run after that piece of prey that causes you so much dismal, want to hunt him down and make _him_ suffer, but Eren is too strong, manages to twist you around and drags you back to the front door.  
Mikasa stands there, arms crossed, glaring after the other omega, radiating the feeling Annie spoke out but that doesn't have a name.  
As soon as Eren manages to get you over the threshold your anger evaporates, leaves behind an empty shell and you break down.  
You're cowering behind the closed door made out of that beautiful auburn wood, fingers woven through your hair, head between your knees, as close to the ground as possible, the world is spinning and not slowing down and you want to cry out, shout, yell, but there's no hot water coming from your eyes, everything is dry and dust burns in your lungs and throat and eyes, your voice is silent but your voice cords hurt with the pressure on them but your mouth is open and not a single sound escapes it.

They stand around you, Mikasa far away but not wanting to leave, Eren by your side, helpless, Annie before you, face set in a resigned expression because she knows, knows what it means to lose an alpha that you were somehow not enough for, knows the pain ripping your heart and soul apart.  
Knows it will pass but doesn't say anything because she knows words won't reach you where you are right now, knows you're too far gone to be reasoned with.  
The scents of everyone grow rich and potent while you're at war with yourself, artillery is firing at the inside of your head, knifes and swords cut at the muscles and your emotions are your enemy.  
Then another one joins in, painfully familiar and yet completely different, the base the same you hate so much and yet can't, and you have the ability to let it out and you scream.

It's a sound of pure agony, long, wailing, but speaks of violence and bloodshed and bad things.  
Eren steps back, Annie's eyes light up and Mikasa starts towards the door to the living room where Armin is leaning against the doorframe, wobbly, shaking, wrapped in his blanket, drawn near by the overwhelming hurt and sorrow that your body is emitting, the scent so strong and powerful for a beta that it attracts an omega who wants to help, feels the need to help, has to soothe his pack mate’s suffering.  
Your body's reaction to his approach is only half-hearted; Eren takes a small step forward to shield Armin from your growling form, but the omega snips his friend's hand aside, pushes past and drops to his knees in front of you.  
You don't want him, don't want his presence near you, and yet you allow him to touch you, put his hands on your hair and neck and shoulders, breathe in the soothing, calming scent he emits.  
Your head falls into his lap at one point, you're blinded by tears as you keep your eyes closed and nothing makes sense or has meaning.  
You stray further from consciousness.

 

When you awake the world is feverish and dull. Your eyes don't open fully, are swollen almost shut, your throat is tight and your head hurts with every heartbeat.  
The bed next to you is empty, the sheets cool and smooth, and you know nobody has lain with you for the past hours.  
You're alone.  
Your heart aches.  
You roll over on the still cold side, press your face into the soft black pillows and breathe in the scent of Eren, Annie, Mikasa, Armin, and try not to think about what will happen when each and every one of them finds a mate.  
Leaves you, too.

Nobody loses a word about what happened when you eventually come down from your room because the hunger is killing you.  
Annie hands you a bowl from the shelf since she's already standing on a chair and sorts dishes in that Eren gives her out of the dishwasher.  
Her eyes aren't pitying, and you're glad.  
When you sit down with milk in a carton on the table and cereal in your bowl you see Armin, dressed in a shirt and vest, and the calendar in the corner shows a very much different date than yesterday.  
The cereal makes creaking noises as it absorbs the milk and you quietly take the first spoonful before asking where the time went.  
The shock about missing work sets in later, more subtle, after Mikasa says they called in for you and told them you’re sick for the week.

 

After Erwin’s surprise visit Mikasa and Eren walk around the house more often, touch the poles of the fence, leave their scent all over the vicinity, marking it as their territory.  
Their note is aggressive, warning everyone who is not a friend to stay away.

Annie visits more often in the nights now, when your wolf is frozen by loneliness and sorrow, and in the darkness she tells you of the alpha that was hers and wasn’t.  
She tells you how they got along, how they shared a life, until he couldn’t bear it anymore. She tells you she had made up her mind, had decided to let him bite her, claim each other, but on the same day she wanted to tell him he introduced an omega, a pure omega, who he had been seeing for weeks.  
He had dropped her, she tells you while holding your hand, sitting next to your lying form on the bed, eyes blinking up with light now and then.

She shares the pain with you, and even though you don’t fully know what it’s like to be omega you can relate. You know.

For days you don’t look up on your way to and back from work, afraid you’ll see them, together, happy, bonded. You drown out the world’s chatter with too loud music and put strong mint crème under your nose that makes your eyes water at first but covers scents from the people surrounding you.

You pass him on a busy street, while out shopping with Armin one afternoon.  
He walks on the other side of the street, with Erwin, and his face is lined with deep wrinkles, his brows drawn and his mouth a hard line. When the larger omega tentatively reaches out the alpha snaps at him, but you don’t see that. Armin tells you, because you turned away.  
In the next shop you have to sit down for a while, while the omega you’re with tries on different dress shirts and matching ties.

You sit and wait, eyes unfocused and monitoring your breathing, but the heart-wrenching pain doesn’t come.  
Instead, your heart is beating painfully, loud, in your ears, and the blood rushes, but your breathing stays deep and regular and after Armin has settled for a hideous light blue shirt with little bows printed on it and you have to get up your knees don’t buckle.

The smallest hint of hope enters you, fills the hole in your chest, lifts your mood, and Armin looks at you with sparkling eyes but doesn’t say anything.

The next time you see him is from a seat in a café, with your pack, and he passes outside the window, alone, eyes glued to the screen on his phone, mouth set in an unhappy frown. He looks paler than before, with angry deep circles around his eyes, but it doesn’t faze you.  
You turn to your spicy chocolate and don’t catch Annie and Eren exchanging a look over your head, grim satisfaction in it.

But you feel like you’re getting better.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s another Friday evening when you come back home. The scent of almond cookies is heavy in the air, and you think you smell something else underneath it but can’t be sure.  
You drop the fluffy, deep purple scarf Mikasa got you for the festivities of the spirits along with your jacket by the door, place your boots on the stack of newspaper under the heating to dry and hop over a small puddle on the floor.

Your bag finds its spot on the stairs, and you walk over towards the living room. Voices come from there and you mildly wonder why nobody came to greet you yet.  
It’s a thing you picked up doing in the house.

The frosted glass obscures the view of who’s the guest on the couch, sitting among your friends, but there’s clearly someone else there.  
You push the door open and are frozen in place.

The grey eyes look up from the cup of tea in his hands, the almost-smile on his lips fades into guarded curiosity tinted with happiness as the alpha rises from his spot.

Eren rises as well, wiping his hands on his pants.

“______, we-“

“Eren what is he doing here?” Your eyes can’t leave Levi’s, can’t, so you have to speak to your pack alpha while looking at what used to be yours.

He’s wearing a white dress shirt, rolled up to his elbows and black skinny jeans, but you’re not seeing it.

One wrist is covered in a sleek watch, but the other is bare, and he has his arms hanging by his side, not hidden, and you can’t say for sure but there is no mark there.

There is no hurt in your chest, only an ache you buried under work and tried to forget.

“_______, Levi came here for a good reason, and we all agreed you should hear him out. Please, try not to... judge too soon, okay?”

You feel your breathing to quicken, feel your body wanting to enter fight or flight, but you will it down.  
You feel your eyes to glow faintly, and Levi’s position shifts, slightly, his shoulder’s tilt back, his head cocks to one side, just a bit, his eyes narrow, it’s almost not even recognizable, and still his whole body changes.

Suddenly he’s all alpha, protector and leader, fearless and gentle, careful touches and untamed claws, the centre of the world and yet the one who bears it on his back.

Faintly you hear words being spoken, others hushing the first and then the room is empty, people twist around you, disappear behind you and overhead, a door closes, and then it’s just you and him, standing by the door and the couch, eyes not able to let go of each other, as the alpha breathes, his hands clenched into fists by his side, his eyebrows twitching into a frown and out, trying to stay calm and collected while fighting against his impulses.

He lifts his chin as he swallows, stretching his neck while not letting go of your view, tilts his head, breathing hitching in his throat as he exposes his neck.

Exposes the thin skin there, untouched, unmarked, clean and smooth. It screams, screams he rejected Erwin, refused to bond with the omega nature chose for him, rebelled, fought and won over something as old as the first tales, and you pick up his scent, and it’s almost entirely pure, clean of the omega fragrance in it, and he has to have been away from Erwin for a long time now for his scent to go back to just him, and your resolve to stay away, let him live his life with Erwin, leave it all behind you, crumbles upon seeing him like this.

He calls out, soft, low, in a way only an alpha can, and you have to take a step forward, duck you head sideways, not letting go of his eyes as you approach.  
He calls out again, eyebrows knitting together over his nose, lifting, slightly, before he swallows a change in his call.  
It’s too late, though, the desperate sound, the cry, is already out, and it says so much more than a million words can, would, ever could.

The meters between you are none-existent all of a sudden, all that matters are his fingers weaving into the hair on the back of your head, his chest between your arms, the fabric scrunching in your hands, and his nose, pressed into the side of your neck, his hand on your back, pulling you closer, so close that nothing can come between you.

His shoulders twitch, and he breathes in deeply, sucks in air like he had to go without it for hours, tugs at your hair and the back of your pullover until you can angle your head and touch your nose to his neck, softly touch your lips to it and he melts under your touch, sinks back on the couch behind him, pulls you with him until he rolls over and suddenly your back is on the rough leather and his weight, so familiar, so familiar, is pressing you down while his hands frantically try to pull you closer, your legs draped over his, your fingers running over the stubbly undercut on the back of his head, and there’s a single sob coming from your throat and your voice is thick as you find the words.

“I missed you.”

He shakes his head and his face is still buried in the soft fabric of your top, somewhere between your hip bone and your ribcage while his hands are holding your shoulders, and at first you don’t understand why he’s are shaking, until he raises his voice.

“I love you.”  
He cries it out, but it’s muffled by the fabric that his fingers clench into so tightly.

He lifts his head to look at you, and his eyes are glossy, pupils blown wide, lips parted for air because his nose is blocked and he gasps and stares at you.

His features twist into something resembling immense pain, but it could also be happiness, you’re not entirely sure, when he comes up and rests his head besides yours on one of the cushions.  
His left hand strokes your cheek, tentatively, like you’re fragile or could disappear every moment.

You close a hand around his wrist, feel his pulse through the thin skin there and close your eyes.

When you open them again he’s still looking at you, softly shaking his head.

He turns away after you look at him for a while, rubbing over his eyes with his other hand and huffing out a sarcastic laugh.

You don’t have to ask, he doesn’t explain, and still it’s clear that he is laughing at himself and his actions, in a mean way, and you touch his cheek and turn his head back to look at his face and the painful sound stops.

 

That night you climb into bed and lie awake for a long time.

Eren offered Levi the couch, and the alpha accepted, because there is no way he could leave now.

The time ticks away on the small clock on the nightstand, but eventually there’s another sound mixing into the quiet clock.  
The soft noise of bare feet on wood near your door, fingers push it open, footsteps enter your room and you lift your head, can’t help but feel your eyes light up.

His skin is paper white in the grey light as you silently lift your covers and he slips underneath, wraps his cool arms around you and presses your body against his, again, placing a kiss on the crown of your head and letting his lips linger there.

You sleep, and for the first time in a very long while, there are no dreams disturbing your mind.

 

Life continues.

The pretty house in the suburbs gets a new resident, and your nights aren’t spent alone anymore.

There is nothing more than touches between the two of you, more in the night, less during the day when there are eyes watching and you’re shy and reserved, but you feel yourself giving in to him.

He’s cautious, holds himself back, doesn’t want to chase you away.

He submits to Eren the first day it’s clear he will be staying longer, offering his neck without a doubt, accepting the other’s dominance and authority.

Annie is reserved towards him, but Mikasa tolerates him and after Eren seeks allowance in your eyes before accepting Levi’s submission the tall alpha is friendly to the black haired shorter male.

 

You can’t say how long it has been since you came home and found Levi in the living room, among your pack, but it doesn’t matter.

Your interaction is still careful, but far more than where friends would go. His hands are carefully exploring, testing the waters ever so slightly, going a bit further every time and still drawing back quickly.

He doesn’t talk much about the gap in your shared memory, the time you weren’t together, but now and then snippets surface.

There’s a whole different kind of tension rising between the two of you as the days go on, and at times it’s so strong that Armin picks up on it and his nose is wrinkling and his eyes go wide and he looks at Eren across the room and Eren just smiles and goes back to his laptop while Armin continues to look at the two of you, sitting next to each other on the sofa, not looking at each other while being occupied with books or your phones.  
But Armin can see your eyes not moving from the same spot they have been ten minutes ago, and he can see Levi’s finger hovering above his phone’s screen but not touching down.

The anticipation reaches its peak as the next heat approaches, the tell-tale signs written all over both yours and Levi’s behaviours.

They watch how you circle each other, tiptoe around your backs and sneaking looks, small touches, and linger too long in each other’s personal space.

The week before Levi’s heat hits is the worst, as none of you can keep calm when they other one’s in the same room.  
Levi’s taken to sleeping on the couch again, not able to stand your close presence for so long, but the tense feelings between you two never manifest in full blown arguments, just snarls and growls now and then, and still your behaviour is full of acceptance.

And then one day you awake, get up to get breakfast, and when you stand at the counter to prepare cereal he creeps up on you from behind, traps you against the cupboards with a hand on each side of your body and slowly lets his nose travel down the slide of your neck until it hovers above the spot of your scent glands and his lips open and close above it and his tongue laps over it, once, twice, warm and wet, and there are goose bumps racing over your body as you give in, bend your neck and accept.

It takes an energetic clearing of Eren’s throat and a half-amused, half-alpha-authority spiked look to keep Levi from advancing right then and there, and the shorter alpha suppresses a growl as he passes the taller one and you follow him without the need of getting pulled along.

Once the door to your room closes behind you he turns around, and even though he’s not tall by standards he seems to grow, his eyes light up bright and his tongue is licking over his lips.

You lean back against the door in anticipation, a low rumble in your chest, a hungry look on your eyes.

You don’t take action, wait for him, to make sure he wants this, because you know there’s no turning back once one of you takes the first step.  
He steps closer, teeth grinding on each other and you glance into his eyes, waiting, daring him to move.

The pull he has on you is strong, but you resist.

And then his body collides with yours, pushes you against the door in your back, and his lips press on a spot below your ear, just above your jaw before trailing down to the patch of smooth skin, he lets his teeth scrape over them faintly, and then he pulls back.

His grey eyes are shining silver, intense and powerful and full of yearning as he presses his forehead against yours and breathes in deeply.

“Do you want this?”

His voice is deep and calm, a growl, his hands next to each side of your head and keeping him at minimum distance.

“Yes.” You answer, almost snarling at him because he dared to ask such a question in your situation, now, after all the courting you two went through, with all the tension burning in each of your limbs, and his eyes flare up once before he moves forward and kisses you properly for the first time.

It’s so forceful his teeth almost meet with yours as your mouths touch, he nips at your bottom lip a bit too harsh but it doesn’t matter because pain is something that can’t reach you now, is too far away.

You push him back while not breaking the kiss, his knees hit the bed and he manages to twist you two around before falling.

Even though he’s only wearing jogging pants, underwear and a shirt it’s far too much when he grinds against you and you can feel him through the fabric and he’s whining and growling and making all those noises you haven’t heard in so long that you almost forgot how he sounded, how he felt, and it’s almost like discovering him all over again.

Finally there’s his skin, smooth and pale, under your fingertips, his body still wrapped in muscles as you remember before you reach up and pull him down against you and it makes both of you groan in pleasure when skin touches skin.

He’s having a hard time controlling himself, you note with a weird satisfaction in your middle, because you know exactly what will make him lose his mind.

He seems to sense a change in you for his eyes flicker open, stare at you, but you roughly pull him down by his hair, turn his head aside and sink your teeth into his neck.  
He vibrates under your touch, and there’s nothing keeping him from pursuing his basic instinct now, now, that he got rid of your clothes, now, that you whispered you’re still on contraceptives, now that he’s grinding down against you, bare and hot and leaking and wanting.

He whines and leans his head against yours, hips bucking forward out of reflex, missing your entrance and he presses an open mouthed kiss to the side of your neck, fisting the sheets to your sides while you reach down, fingernails letting go of his hips to wrap around the with every heartbeat pulsating piece of meat, grunting in annoyance when he aimlessly thrusts forward again before you can place the tip against the spot it’s meant to go, let it taste the wetness there, and when Levi moves forward this time he almost slides in all the way, and his gasps mix with yours as whines of pleasure and mild pain at the sensation of being stretched open wide again ring out.

It doesn’t take long to get used to him, you find your rhythm again, fall back into old habits, and still it’s all different now, now, that you’re here in this house, with him, and his heat is here, the first shared one in months, how he’ll later tell you, and the want in both of you is too immense to put into words.

He thrusts forward, powerful, doesn’t pin you down completely so you slide over the mattress with each movement of his hips until you begin to meet him halfway, meet every bucking forward and he groans loud.

There’s anticipation rising in the back of your mind as you feel the familiar and yet strange feeling of orgasm rising that makes your fingernails turn sharper, longer, pointed, leaving red scratches on Levi’s back that make him gasp and stare into your eyes, growl hungrily, and there’s a tingling, painful pulling in your mouth as your skeleton rearranges itself and you let it happen, know you want it to happen, feel your eyes light up and then settle into a continuing glow, not as bright as before but warmer, lasting.

He feels your shift, there’s a ripping sound as he pulls his hands free of the sheet and pushes his arms underneath your body to take hold of your hips, your sides, your back, his claws leaving scratches that burn when air hits them while he continues to fuck you into the mattress, always thrusting in until his knot comes into contact with you and then pulling back, and for a brief moment you wonder if he’s going to chicken out of it before his lips pull back over his teeth that are long and sharp, fangs, no longer human, and he huffs out breaths, his movements uncontrolled, erratic.

He grunts when he digs his claws into your soft flesh and holds you in place for one, two more thrusts before he forces his knot past your entrance, deeper inside your body where you have to clench down on it by instinct and it quickly swells too large to slip out again, even if you lack the additional ring of muscles omega’s possess.  
Another thrust forward and the hot bulge fully slips past any restrictions, comes to rest and his orgasm is like a storm rolling over the two of you and then he growls, loud, demanding, and opens his mouth and bites down on your neck.

It hurts, it hurts so much you want to scream while your own orgasm hits home but there’s no place to let out the energy that is boiling beneath your skin, no way to escape Levi’s grasp as you feel him inside you, one hand still on your butt, the other in your hair and pulling your head aside and his jaws around the spot where shoulder becomes throat and your hands are raking down the muscles on his back before finding their way into the longer strands of hair on his head, roughly pulling at them, exposing his neck, tearing his teeth away from your own and the smooth skin right there in front of your eyes is too good to be looked long at.  
Instead you open your mouth wide, feel your lips stretch over your teeth, and the satisfaction you feel when they sink deep into his skin is beyond comprehension.  
You taste blood, warm and metallic, and only when Levi growls and puts a hand over your throat, cutting off your air supply, you let go after licking over the wound once more.

He doesn’t waste more time and instead bites down on the other side of your neck, enticing another muffled cry as he shivers under the impact and another spark of pleasure lights up between you.

 

There are more than the two bites on the neck to be placed; one on each wrist, one on each thigh, one on each ankle, and your movements grow increasingly more animalistic as the height of your orgasm subsides and the pain sets in.

Levi growls at you again, forceful this time, as he takes your wrist and sinks his teeth into it, staring into your wolf’s hate filled eyes as it can do nothing but to watch how its body gets taken in pain, before you bare your teeth at him and place your mark on him as well, and then it’s his turn in flashing teeth and making aggressive sounds.

The skin of your ankles is tingling as the pheromones transmitted through saliva and blood begin to spread, you shift your legs in wanting to scratch the itch, but it has to wait until Levi’s knot goes down.

You calm, slowly, come down from the crazed madness that is the biting ritual, and at some point your eyes are almost their usual colour again.

You managed to roll him underneath you at some point, and now you’re laying splayed on top of him, chin next to his face on the pillow and brushing black hairs out of his face.

He closes his eyes in content and hums, a low, steady sound emitting from his chest and vibrating through your whole form.

The silence in the room becomes more and more pressing as you listen to his heartbeat slowing down.  
At some point his fingers are smooth and soft again, their claws gone, and he rubs them apologetically over the marks they left on your back.

He’s glancing over to where the deep blue sheets are torn and exposing the white comforter underneath and is about to say something when a funny sensation makes your lower parts tingle.  
Testing, you squeeze the muscles once, but there is no knot anymore. Your eyes flash back to his for a second before you lift yourself up and turn around in one smooth motion, your butt now facing him as your lips pull back, exposing your canine teeth once more and without further hesitation you bite down on the thin skin over his ankles and then deeply into the flesh of his thighs.

He hisses in pain before lifting himself up with surprising strength, pushes you forward with your face down in the sheets and sharply nips at your legs as well, once, twice, letting the blood there mix with his saliva and the white semen slowly dripping out of you.

His hands glide over your back appreciatively and you catch his eyes from your position.  
They gleam before you turn back to tackle him, and the two of you roll around in the large bed, trying to reach the spots of the other one where it tickles or entices goose bumps on the other’s skin, before the playful silliness makes room for more tension, the freshly placed bites stinging, and a new wave of lust enveloping the two of you.

The second orgasm is more tiring than the first one, the second knot lasts even longer and you’re both drifting in and out of a light slumber while you wait for your physical connection to break.  
When it does it wakes both of you, but instead of moving you simply open your eyes and look at him, from where your head rests next to his on the cushion, and the grey eyes hold so much warmth it’s unreal.  
Slowly, he turns his head and presses a chaste kiss to your lips, and you feel his mouth twisting into a smile, and you have to smile as well, utterly content for the moment.  
The bathroom is just across the hallway, and you don’t bother with clothes as you skip over and turn on the water to run a bath.  
Levi takes a while longer, having put on his boxers first, before he trails in after you, two towels in his hands, and locks the door behind himself.  
You open Armin’s bottle of golden glitter bubble bath for special occasions and pour in a generous amount as the water begins to rise in the tub, steam obscuring the window and mirror already, and when you turn off the water and sink into it after a quick stop at the toilet, wonderful warmth surrounds you.  
Levi strips and lowers a foot through the mountains of glittery foam, further and further, until he finds the water and makes a face at the temperature, but he gets in as well after looking at your sleepy smile.  
You sit opposites each other in the tub, only the heads visible among the mass of bubbles, bodies touching in the water and legs arranged that both of you fit in.  
Already you can feel the soreness creeping up from between your legs when you move, feel the water on the sensitive skin where bite marks are bruising deep red, but the pain is a good one, and it settles a deep happiness inside you.

When Levi speaks up you open your eyes, looking at his flushed cheeks and the sweat on his skin.  
He talks to the water and averts his eyes, and you understand it must be difficult for him, more than it might look.  
“I... don’t know where to start...”  
A hand comes up and rubs over the spot where your canine teeth were just minutes ago, and he freezes as he feels pain shoot through there.  
Then he lifts his eyes, and they’re full of pain.  
“I can’t... I never wanted to bond with Erwin. Not really.”  
To your own surprise you don’t even flinch at the mentioning of that name. Instead you sit up a bit more, to listen more attentively.  
“My last heat... He must have smelled it on me when I came back to work that week. I don’t know... it must have sparked something in him, but... he couldn’t stay away from me. Would always be in touch with me, physically, somehow, and I... I let it happen. Because it felt right, somehow.”  
He’s shaking his head and shudders uncomfortably at the memory, but you don’t say anything and wait for him to continue.  
He pulls a hand free of the golden water and rubs it over his forehead, wiping away the sweat and leaving glitter in his black hair.  
“I knew it was wrong, I knew you were waiting for me, and still I... I ran into him on the toilets, and I... I pulled him into a stall without thinking further after he sniffed my neck and...”  
The hand previously on his forehead gets joined by another, and together they hide his face that is lined with shame. He drops them after a minute, looks to the side, but his eyes are distant and seeing something else. He huffs out a breath.  
“It was so wrong. And then his heat was approaching and I didn’t do anything to stay away from him...”  
Suddenly his eyes meet yours again.  
“Seeing you, in our living room, like that... it should’ve woken me up from this... haze. I was able to think a bit more clear when I smelled you besides Erwin but then you left and... It took everything in me not to bite Erwin every time we-“ He breaks off and shakes his head, eyes lost in the past once more.  
“I kept your comforter in a plastic bag underneath my bed, and every time Erwin wasn’t there I got it out and buried my face in it... to be able to think straight, to remind myself I fucked up, to punish myself because I knew what happened with Erwin wasn’t right and still I didn’t do anything about it. He found out, of course. Yelled at me for doing something so stupid. He put it in the washer and scent-marked it afterwards. I should’ve broken things up then and there, but it seemed so logical, him being envious, being omega... I don’t remember much of the weeks after that, but one day he came back to the flat and he seemed shaky and when he came to me for comfort I could smell the faintest trace of you on him.”  
He tsks at the memory and lifts his gaze from the bubbles to the ceiling, huffing in annoyance.  
“When I asked him what he did, why he had your scent on him, he didn’t tell me right away. He confessed after we slept with each other the next time.”  
Disgust swept over his features.  
“I never felt so dirty before. I couldn’t believe what he did... going to you, asking you... I ended things with him then.”  
Pain etches across his face, the agony of a refused bond, the fight against something ancient and meant to be.  
“Work was difficult, because he was still around. Every time I’d see him I was tempted to give back in. I had to remind me again and again how shitty whatever we had was... Your friend Armin somehow found out where I work and came to see me. Had to keep half of the department from falling over themselves to court him,” He shakes his head, “and he left your address with me. I don’t really know what the brat originally wanted but after he saw me he seemed to change his mind and just bailed after leaving the note.”  
His attention focuses on you.  
“I cleaned the whole flat and nearly passed out from the anti-scent spray I used on everything. I just wanted his smell gone, but it stuck and I kept the windows open the whole time I was there. And then one afternoon I decided to finally search for the address that blonde brat gave me, and I came here and after explaining they were all so friendly and let me have tea and then you came home and I-“  
He breaks off, and his face is a mixture of longing, pain and so many things else, and after another heartbeat there’s a soft whine coming from his chest, and it pulls on your heart and makes the bites throb and you lean forward, meet him in the middle, and close your arms around him.  
He tugs you closer, into his lap, cradles his arms around you and hides his face at your chest, and the small feelings of distance that build while he talked about Erwin fade as you stroke over his black hair and press a reassuring kiss to the top of his head.  
He breathes deeply a few times, listening to your heartbeat, nuzzling further into your body, and after a while of petting his hair and neck you feel something twitch underneath you.  
A smile spreads on your face as he groans in annoyance and hugs you closer, but what has been awoken can’t be put to rest by ignoring it.  
In the end he’s panting, his head leaned back on the hard edge, biting his lower lip and eyes closed, suppressing moans as he softly thrusts into your hand and comes into the still warm water.

You skip down the stairs in underwear and a shirt, wrapped in a soft blanket, and pounce on the couch, wedging in between Armin and Eren.  
“You smell.” Armin complains, but it’s with a grin and Eren laughs.  
Levi is sitting on the floor, back leaned against the couch, eyes focused on the movie playing.

Months have passed, but the pink scars that are exposed by the loose shirt that slips aside so easily are still there, will forever be there, and you can’t help but feel deeply resonating happiness.  
Eren looks down, sees your adoring look and the small smile as your eyes lie on Levi, while the alpha is looking somewhere else entirely, and still he reaches back like he feels it, takes your hand and his heart skips a beat at the displayed, calm love.  
His eyes meet Armin’s, find the same emotions there, and he can smell the note of comfortable love surge up in the room as everyone settles deeper into a content mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a distinctive lack of omegaverse reader inserts that are more than plotless porn, and I intend to change that...  
> Let me know if there's something specific you'd like to read, or just want to forward a prompt to me!  
> You can also find me (and a bit of aot fanart) on my tumblr: soekkchen.tumblr.com  
> ♥


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